It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover

Synopsis with spoilers (For those who want a review but aren't really readers or don't want to read the book)

The story starts on a rooftop, with Lily perched on a ledge because that's how she soothes herself somehow. Then Ryle Kincaid, hot neurosurgeon, appears and asks her to get down. She obliges, they talk, she points to show him where she lives. They feel a connection. And they don't see each other again for six months.

Then there's Atlas. Lily's first love. A homeless boy she loved and whose life she saved when she was fifteen. Her abusive dad caught them in bed together once and beat him up with a baseball bat until he was soaked in his own blood. She never saw him again after that. We get to know about him through letters she wrote to Ellen DeGeneres. Letters she never posted but which she reads again now. She remembers Atlas, wonders about him. She found out he made it out alive after that night he got beaten up through the internet. He was in the Marines.

Lily opens a flower shop. Allysa, rich girl, wants to be her employee. And of course, she's Ryle's sister. So Lily and Ryle meet again. He meets her mother in a restaurant. She sees Atlas again. He's the owner and chef. She feels everything again. He tells her he has a girlfriend when he sees Ryle. He actually doesn't have a girlfriend. Lily and Ryle "fall in love". She finds out he has a temper. He snaps when he sees pieces of Atlas in her life. She debates whether to leave or not. She doesn't. She's still reminiscing about Atlas. She and Ryle get closer. They get married. The abuse gets worse. She leaves. Goes to Atlas. Finds out she's pregnant. Comes back. Ryle is studying in England at this point for three months. He finds out she's pregnant when he's back. They don't get back together because she's trying so hard not to be like her mother who endured abuse all her life. 

She has the baby. Asks for a divorce.

It ends there.

***

This book is rated as Colleen's best work, but so far, I'm already in disagreement. I'm only fifty pages in btw, so yes, these are uncooked opinions. 

 

The writing just feels...juvenile. 

 

The very beginning of the book was evocative of the first few pages of All The Bright Places - only with the gender roles reversed and less of an actual death wish. I wanted to talk about her opinions of suicide and what those who reach the point of no return feel when they realise they can't go back, but I think it's only wise to refrain from sensitive topics in reviews for the moment. Perhaps another time. 

 

Anyway. Once again, I digress.

 

I find it annoying how the plot is so convenient. Of course Allysa just shows up at Lily's newly-bought still-crappy store and wants to be her employee even though she has never worked a day in her entire life. And of course Allysa is Ryle's sister. And of course she sprains her ankle and he shows up. And of course this gorgeous neurosurgeon with the brain or a near-genius and the drive to succeed of Elon Musk just loses ENTIRELY all focus over this random lass named Lily Bloom. Oh, for Christ's sake. What a bunch of bull. 

 

I do however appreciate how Lily's letters from back then actually seem like they were written by a 15-year old. I don't know how she still remembers the brain functionings of a teenager like that, but it does take a degree of flair, I'll give her that. The story with Atlas is also a bit intriguing. So I'm going to read on, and hopefully my heart will be broken by the book and not from disappointment of all the people with no book standards.

 

***

The thing is, Lily knew what she shouldn't have done, and she did it anyway. And I know, I sound like the mfs who just blamed the girl. But I sure as hell don't agree with the shit ton of times Hoover mentioned that people only point fingers at the ones who stay with the abusers instead of the abusers themselves. The way I see it; abusers are fucked in the head. They're sick. And most often than not, they're sick beyond cure. They need professional help. Probably un séjour in an asylum. Perhaps that's why people turn to the abused and point fingers at them instead. Because unconsciously, everyone has already given up on the abuser. There's no hope for them anyway. So what are you going to do now? Go back to them? Fair enough. There's love, maybe even dependence. Maybe threats, fear. Lots of factors. It's not as simple as it looks from an outsider's point of view. From the point of view of someone who feels nothing but disgust for the abuser, who hasn't lived and made memories and shared moments with the abuser. So yes, definitely complicated. But Lily. Aw, man, Lily. 

 

Yes, I will start by blaming her. Not because she forgave Ryle so many times despite all the red flags. But because she kept all the pieces of Atlas while making Ryle think her mind and soul and heart were all for him. She started reading the journal again. She started to reminisce about Atlas again. She kept the magnet, she kept quiet about the tattoo (and I have a feeling she actually thought of the actual why and how that tattoo was there when Ryle kissed her there), she didn't dispose of the phone number when she got it and you're telling me she forgot about it when she went to Vegas to get married? Woman, the fuck?

 

Regardless of Ryle's abusive nature, those were fucked up of her. She should've come clean to herself and to Ryle the very first time she felt her heart more than flutter when she saw Atlas again. And when Ryle smashed his forehead against her head (that, by the way, was definitely the last fucking straw. I could've excused the first two times if we're really pushing it, ruling them off as accidents as he said, but this? Lmfao, yeah he can go fuck himself). Anyway, the fact that she ruled out everyone else and formulated her excuses in such a way that she convinced herself Atlas was the only person she could call in that moment. Lmao. Yeah. Yeah, no. If she wanted another way, she would've found one. But of course it had to be Atlas, right? Disgusting. 

 

In short, I hate Lily Bloom. She's as fucked in the head as Ryle is.

 

As for her relationship with Ryle, well, the whole way it was built was too convenient, for lack of a better word. I felt none of the magic or charm of new beginnings. It felt wrong, out of place, and even rushed. They didn't even take the time to get to know each other that well. And again, as with Ugly Love, too many sex scenes. It gets annoying and gross at some point, Colleen. Honestly, tone it down. Nora Roberts incorporates it better imo.

 

At some point the book sort of felt stagnant too. No moving forward in the plot, just random useless scenes. 

 

Is this really y'all's favourite book at the moment? Damn.

 

Anyway, let's hope for some major twist in the remaining few pages.

 

***

 

It's funny to me how Colleen actually acknowledges all the little loopholes. Through Lily, she acknowledges that she had tons of other options aside from Atlas. Get a room in a hotel, right? Oh, of  course not. The credit card tracks. Well bitch, get cash. The fact that she held on to all she had left of Atlas, which is why Ryle lost it. But of course, it's no excuse. And I agree, there is no excuse for abuse. But it's also good to acknowledge what you're responsible for. But if not for Atlas, perhaps Ryle would've gotten abusive over something else. Like he did over his hand. So yeah, there's no excuse. But putting aside his inexcusable abusive nature, she fucked up too. If Ryle was perfect, I'd still hate her. Perhaps more. Right now there's obviously pity to reduce that. It's just sickening that she blames everyone else but herself. She even blamed Atlas for not coming back for her "like he promised". Bitch what? You were teenagers, calm tf down. And it's not like she didn't literally move on with other people during that time. Like, what, did she just expect him to run everywhere looking for her while she screwed other people?

 

I absolutely despise Lily.

 

Hoover, your female characters suck.

 

Tate, Rachel, Lily. All sucks. 

 

***

 

My heart didn't break until page 359. Before then, I was just angry. Angry at the truths, angry at the reality of abuse. Angry that it's so hard to leave. Angry that things don't actually get better. That there is no other choice but the ugliest one if you want to break out of this sickening cycle. 

 

***

 

Reading the author's note almost made me change the way I reviewed it. Saying that she wrote Lily in the image of her own mother is what almost made me back down, but I reviewed Lily from being just that. Lily. And I still don't like her. 

 

Also, I don't get all the hype about Atlas. All the "Atlas >>>>". Like...? No, he isn't. He was a decent human being as a nineteen-year-old I GUESS, but he's nothing extraordinary. His relationship with Lily didn't move me either. Especially as adults. If anything I found it pretty repulsive. Misplaced. 

 

So, no, I don't like Atlas either. I don't know what you're all on about. 

 

I highlighted a few things in the book, but I'm too lazy to go back and look. And they didn't strike me hard enough to write them down somewhere, so ehhhh.

 

That's all. I don't know what I'll read next yet. But I'll start in 2022.

 

Toodles. 

PS If you would excuse the unladylike manner in which I have gone about this review. I was young and naive.